ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
