i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
