Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
