Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
