yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
