I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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