what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We need to get me chipped asap
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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