Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
