No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
