i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
