yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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