that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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