i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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