My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize