great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The best revenge is premature balding
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
