Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
