So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
