I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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