dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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