He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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