So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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