I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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