low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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