I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
