Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize