But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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