CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
