I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
