My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
