just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
