you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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