Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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