ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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