are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
