Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
