So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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