I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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