It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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