There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
