One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
