East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
People with herpes should wear stickers.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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