went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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