one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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