Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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