Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
