have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
