My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
