I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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