I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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