I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
