i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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