yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
