explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
