Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
