it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
