I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
