Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
