Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
