you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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