Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
