The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
