When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
