Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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