my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
