Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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