WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
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This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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