You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My feet surprised me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
